I don’t know if there is anything perfect. Since dating and living together before marriage isn’t possible in a country like ours, I will have to live with what I get. But it still I can dream about a perfect lover.
What I’m talking about is, I’ve been tagged by the Doc. Now the rules of the game are,
- The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.
- Need to mention the sex of the target.
- Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they’ve been tagged. (Don’t worry, am ot tagging anyone. I gotta break this rule.
)
Sex of the target == Female.
- Should have a good taste in music. Anykind. If she can sing or play the Piano or Veena, it will be just perfect. (I can’t think of someone who says “damn! will you stop disturbing me? I’m watching this teleserial” when I talk about a song or a piece of music).
- Shouldn’t be a chatterbox all the time. (That doesn’t mean, I prefer someone who hardly open their mouth)
- Should be a good friend and someone who can understand when I’m down and give me a hug without being asked. (I believe in hug therapy!!)
- Should be classy in bed and kissing. Should be thinking sex is a matter of intimacy, not a job to be done in the specified timeline.
- Should be a good manager at home.
- Should be someone with whom I can share everything and can give me tips to handle situations.
- Shouldn’t be someone mad of buying Gold, shopping and make-up. (I hate those women with tons of gold)
- Should have a good dress-sense. (I prefer a woman in Saree, I think that’s the most sexiest and elegant dress in the world, but Churidhar is also okay). I don’t like my woman over-exposing herself with dress and makeup.
So that’s my perfect lover. I can think of many other things to write here, but #8 would do I guess. Now all thats said, I know I will have to live with what I get. )
———–
The above was written in the morning. Now its 12: 12 AM. Okay, I met two of my friends in the evening. We had a nice time together in the evening. All these time, I thought my worries are greater than anyone in this world. Yes, sometimes I even thought about suicide. An ex once told me that the easiest way to kill oneself is by taking pills. You would just go off to sleep and would never wake up. I thought that’s so peaceful. I was never dared to do that, but thought of it so many times. Now after talking to these friends and hearing about their sorrows, I feel so silly to say good-bye to this life. Life is so wonderful man!! Whatever it gives you, whatever the f*** it take you to, it still is so beautiful. You need a great courage to kill yourself, but a greater courage to survive this life. Am not gonna kill myself, never!!!
The day started off with my mother fainting in the morning due to the BP and I was so tensed. You know, nobody, (even your friends) care for you than your mother does. And I was so afraid to see her in the situation. These days am so afraid of losing her. She’s 70 now. After fainting she kept vomitting, and I called up the doc and bought some tablets and she got okay by noon. A sigh of relief came at last. And when she was down, I saw her saying “eesoye… eesoye… maathaave” (christ… christ… holy mary) and I felt very angry of Gods whoever the hell there is, Christ, Krishna, Allah — whoever the f*** there is, they were not of any help to her. Her whole body was shivering. I’m not an aethist guys, but for the moment, I thought there is no God who look over us.
But am so happy tonight. After talking to these two close friends of mine, I feel so stupid to think about suicide. Life is so beautiful man. And am gonna live it off whatever it takes.
Whenever am full of booze, I like to watch Metallica and their live show VCD with San Fransisco Symphony Orchestra. They’re just cool. And boybands suck!! You guys have a great weekend!!!
So close, no matter how far
Couldn’t be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don’t just say
and nothing else matters
January 29, 2006 at 2:16 am
Jo,
First about your MOM – Please take her to a good doc and get her examined thoroughly.
BP is a killer disease. I hope she takes her medication.
I am so happy that she is ok. Talk to the doctors about other medications she is taking and the interactions.! Very important.
==
About suicide etc – People who’ve come out of it ( luckily) will never attempt it again ..such is the relief.!!
==
January 29, 2006 at 4:27 am
Jo,
Relieved to hear that your Mom is OK. Kindly take her to a good Doc and test her BP. Is she already having high BP. It should not lead till fainting level. Prevention is better than cure.
Please do not think that life is full of bed of roses. Life is not that easy. Every human being in this world has problem. You do not need courage to commit suicide. Only cowards will prefer it. Life is full of ups and downs. Live life normally and do not have high expectations. Do not jump to sky when you are happy, and do not yourself deep in, when you are sad. I thought you are a matured person. Anyhow, whatever let it be, we should fight. There is a great feeling when you fight, and overcome the problem. Every problem is to be solved. There is solution. Do not shy away from that. Be bold and face it.
January 29, 2006 at 8:36 am
The crap that we deal with in our life is entirely our own, and that we must mop up with our own hands.
Please take care of your mom, no God will..
Suicide is a very wonderful thing to contemplate, it gives one a lot of pleasure because it makes one believe at that point of time that there is an escape route.
Finally, a list of 8 qualities that made sense to me beyond the candyfloss I read in some other blogs
January 29, 2006 at 9:08 am
My wish…
where there is pain,i wish you peace and mercy
where there is self-doubting,i wish you a renewed confidence in your ability to work through it
where there is tiredness,or exhaustion,i wish you understanding,patience and renewed strength
where there is fear,i wish you LOVE and courage.
Jo,
Everything happens for a reason…if you’re feelin’ down and out,just talk to someone ,share & have the relief of true greatness of having a “friend”.
I hope and i pray for your mom’s fast recovery…
If you need someone to listen…justknock!
-kathy-
January 29, 2006 at 1:36 pm
Suicide is a very fancy thought that arises in many people’s minds in times of despair! But most often proper senses prevail and they come out of it! Am happy that u were one of them!
As for Metallica, they ROCK!! No better song than ‘Nothing Else Matters’ to listen to!
January 29, 2006 at 2:52 pm
@N.Venkitu — Yes. When I went to see this new doc, I showed him the prescription of the other doc whom we consulted for BP and took medication based on that. The first course of meds was for 4 days and on Friday night we started the next course. Now he asked to stop the other meds (and gave a new prescription) and to see him again in 7 days. This doc is a chest specialist and professor in Thrissur Medical College.
@Balaji — We just started the new course of meds. Doc asked to see him again in 7 days.
And about suicide, as I said, I was never dared to do it although I thought sometimes I would have to do it. I know life ain’t a bed full of roses. I learnt it not from anyone or any “How to” books, but from my own life. Now that’s been said, there are moments that completely take you away fro what you have learnt or experienced. At those moments, its not your brain that works, but your heart. Anyways, yesterday’s meeting with those friends gave me a new direction.
@Vinesh — Rightly said pal, about mopping up our problems on our own. Thanks for the visit.
@Lil Kath — That was really moving Kathy. Thank you for being a good friend.
@Vikram H — Thanks man.